


The Things He Didn't Say

by awesomems



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-20 23:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11931960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomems/pseuds/awesomems
Summary: Evan is going to a new school, despite having left one of the people he loved most behind at his old school. Except, it's hard to make new friends when everyone keeps misgendering you, and when you're too afraid of judgement to correct them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry the summary isn't great, this is just a vent fic that I'll add onto whenever something happens.

Evan wasn’t doing anything productive, just laying in bed, thinking. Thinking about the future, about possible outcomes. He wish he could come out, that would make him more comfortable. Maybe then he could get the things he needed, like a binder, or maybe hormone blockers, followed by testosterone later in life. But just the prospect was terrifying. Although his parents had been okay and accepting when he came out as a lesbian(he’s not a lesbian. He’s a trans guy who likes girls), coming out as trans was different, at least that’s what Evan thought. 

It broke his heart to look in the mirror every morning, every night, to see his face, his chest, his stomach, his hips, his thighs, everything about him just looked so  _ feminine _ , and he hated it. But he wasn't going to say anything. Because he could handle the use of ‘she’, the use of his birth name. He could handle his grandmother referring to him as ‘ _ hija _ ’, or ‘ _ mija _ ’. He could handle going to events at the medical school with his dad and being introduced as ‘his daughter’ and that ‘his son didn't want to come’. Evan wished he could say that his dad didn't have a daughter, and that one of his sons was right there next to him, but wasn't going to, because he could handle it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love hurts.

He was going to a new school, but everyone already knew him as his birth name. It was a better school than his old one, but he left the person he cared about most behind. He had only known her for ¾ of a year, but she had quickly become one of his best friends. She didn't know about him though. Despite him telling her everything, he didn't tell her about his trans identity, about his body issues. Her parents hated him almost as much as he did himself, so he had no contact with her over the summer. She probably hated him by now, for not talking to her, for leaving her behind, for hurting her. He never realized how much he loved her until he couldn't see her for 2 months, after seeing her everyday for 6. 

He missed her tapping on his shoulder to only say hi, he missed her stealing his pens, he missed her putting her head in his lap while they would just talk for the entirety of recess.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities

Evan started not eating as much. He didn’t starve himself or purge the food he’d already eaten. He didn’t have an eating disorder, just some days he wouldn’t eat as much. Maybe some days he would only eat 2 meals, or sometimes only 1. Anxiety had most definitely decreased his appetite, and although he wasn’t focused on his weight, that may be an added bonus. All his weight went to his chest or his hips, his stomach, his thighs, all the body parts he was most self-conscious about. They made him look like a  _ girl _ and it was terrible. He couldn’t work out either because it was too emotionally draining, he barely had enough energy to get through an entire school day,


End file.
